I'm called a lot of things

I'm bored with this, so I created a more fun version, what can I say, I'm an angsty mother fucker, and this site fufills me more. So I'll probably be checking this less.

I love how clam I am right now, soooo calm from the tranqs, me love the tranqs..they make the bad stuff go BOOM! whatever that means...dude what am I talking about, today was a good day, and me and my best friend made up last night on the phone..good days..good times...whoa dude whoaaaaa

Why does everything just have to be so, so...so...just so!! Right now it actually hurts to smile and I feel like my best friends bitch. I'm not her bitch! I feel like she just thinks everything I feel and everything I want to talk about is stupid and melodramatic and meaningless, and like I'm the dumb friend who is always wrong and can't get anything right. I feel like asking her a girly favor disgusts her and she always has to change the subject, because she'll think "it's just Evie being neurotic and overly sensitive" and when in the back of my mind things are wrong w/ us, I cannot seem to shake it off, because I know there is something I'm not saying, and maybe that's my fault! But I feel like if I ever said these things she would think I was being a fragile self indulgent pussy. And I'm not a pussy, I'm just confused, I don't want the best relationship in my life right now (besides my mom) to get fucked up because of unsaid things. Sometimes, I think I make it impossible for people to love me. Actually love me. I blow over things to please the one person that means so much to me.

yup, and boy does it feel- wait...shit..piss! I have absolutly nooooo idea how to go about this..I don't really wanna say it online, because that's just stupid, but..I don't know how else to explain it, mmhk, I'm gonna be cryptic and talk in code, k? I've landed in this repetitive world of giddy pleasure and moon eyes...and..I've been having mixed views about how to identify this..OKAY NEVERMIND BECUASE NO ONE IS GOING TO KNOW WHAT IN THE SHIT I AM RAMBLING ABOUT. If you figure it out, lemme know.

(I'm crazy in love w/ this song)

People you know try to tell you things
Bad things that you don't want to know about
Tell you tomorrow what you did today
Just remember, it's a small town
It's a real small town
She gets tired of all the stupid boys
She can't wait until they're done
She wants a man who can take his time
She wants someone who can make her come
Yeah, can you make me come
You always say you want a simple life
You and me both know that you are a liar
You always say you want a simple life
Hearing you talk just makes me tired
Swim in the heavy water
Buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands
I can't hide my sexual life
He always says he wants to find a special one
But you watch his head go spinning around
He really wants anyone who'll give it up
He seems to forget he's in a small town
You always say you never fuck around
You say this town is just plain full of liars
Yeah you always say you never fuck around
Hey, hearing you talk just makes me tired
Swimming in the heavy water
Buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my stupid hands
I can't hide my sexual life
My sexual life

I was doing soooo well w/ the not feeling stuff thing. and now I'm like havin' all these heavy emotions and shit. IT BLOWS. no no no, I'll just shrug these suckers off. yup. ok good, this is really working, extremely affective.

Masturebation is supposed to be a miracle, then why the fuck is my pump not working this week, I need relief!!!!! I was supposed to quit smoking this week, and replace it with masturebation and tranquilizers, but only one of them is working and not even that well, for the past 2 weeks I've been living off a diet of Tonic water, clove ciggarettes ( i know how pretentious) and chocolate ice cream, very unhealthy, but at least I started taking my multi vitimans again.

you know it baby, I love how many losers at my school think I give a shit about what they think about me, I would care if they were interesting or mature, but alas they lack these needed traits, so, no Evie for them, poor bastards.....hehehe I had a good day today, hung w/ sylvia and Co.(company) and they all told me how much they dug me, awwesooome, I really dig them too. It feels nice to have some HEALTHY fucking friends who are nice and aren't scared of me and think I'm fuckin' awesome, I love people who love me. they rock.

She's a whore
you're a sleaze
I'm the bitch
he's the tease
NEVER TALK
TO ME
LIKE THAT
kill the rage
and use me
turn the page
fuck the floozy
NEVER TALK
TO ME
LIKE THAT
stick it in
don't pull out
am I agressive?
what's that about?
STOP TALKING
TO ME
LIKE THAT
Bite my back
I'll bite yours
city streets
infested whores
DON'T USE
THAT TONE
TOWARDS ME
Wet cunts
for hard dicks
pretty girls
screw nasty pricks
STOP TALKING
OR I'LL MAKE YOU
STOP
this not meant
to turn on
don't get it?
then play along
QUIT OR
I'LL DO SOMETHING
I'LL REGRET
you know nothing
without sweet lies
so I'm sour?
to stray the flies
DIRE CONCEQUENCES
WILL PROCEED
IF NEED BE
so loves a lie
and you're
a good kisser
candies fine
but I prefer liquor
KNOCK IT OFF
FOR HELL HATH
NO FURY
cuts in back
to stick black wings
lights will clap
when crickets sing
FOOL ME ONCE
SHAME ON YOU
dreamt of love
with turbulance
the maddest kind
will make you wince
MAY I SHUTTER?
FROM YOUR LOVE?
borrow sugar?
cries angry dove
I WARNED YOU BEFORE
the soul had been stung?
NOW HANG YOUR HEAD
and bite your tounge

yup, yup yup. My fevers down, I'm feelin' alllllllright, and...no worries, except for grades of course, but whatev.

Title says it all, I am on soooooooooooo many tranqs right now I can barely type, so much shitty shit happened today. I swear all these people feed of highschool melodrama THEY FUCKING CRAVE IT. Only four more months , I just keep telling myself that. this year had me crying like a girly girl sucky suck for weeks now. BUT i'M DONE WITH THAT. NOW i'M GOING TO GO WHACK OFF, ENJOY MY FOOD, WATCH SOME QUALITY FILMS AND NO ONE CAN DO A GODDAMN THING ABOUT IT!!!!...whew, okay the content side of my is ensuing once again, (no who am I kidding I don't have a content side it's the 'lorazepan' and lot's of it)

I've been having weird fucking dreams about these little boys in the schoolyard being accused of being gay (and there's nothing wrong with that) and having children with guns running after them and throwing rocks, and it's the weirdest thing it's placed at my old old school. Probably an anxiety dream. Dude those blow.

Sleepwalk dance
exodus trance
you never grew up up did you?
smarty pants
juveinile romance
observers with nothing to do
trip on rocks
play in panting smocks
just don't get any on me
turn back clocks
don't break the docks
your locked up right when I flee
cracked hour glass
the quiets new sass
the pouty face should be expired
anger with class
when all the stars pass
the moping routine will be tired
I've learned to walk
you'll start sidewalk chalk
while you're wasting audible time
so lay there and sqawk
to afraid to talk
over nothing that's worth all the pine

uhhhhh, people at my school think they are the shit, I'm sorry, but blasting the Vines cd that I burned for you losers during homeroom is not fucking hip, and excuse me but you guys are still going through your vines phase? poor juviniles, sure Craig Nicholls is "the god of fuck" and incredibly attractive, doesn't mean they should take pride in blasting "winning days" at least have the decency to play "highly evolved" you trendy poser mother fuckers, I'm sick of these people, I've known these emoitionally stunted losers too fucking long. BELLA SAVE ME.

this was the first medeocre day I've had in awhile, it was nice, shit, I've forgetten how nice a good day can feel...I mean most people still suck and I haaaate the world, but I'm stickin' around. I got a lot of reasons...TAKE MY GOOD MOOD FOR GRANTED PEOPLE.

If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times...MY SCHOOL SUCK ASS, I just want to be transferred and have it over with. I need to quit smoking. This time seriously this week, no smoking for Evie, alright well then what am I going to replace it with, Not caffine, because that doesn't work, I've got it...masturbation and tranquilizers..IT'S GOLD, I CAN'T LOSE. I'm a fucking genuis. I spelled genuis right didn't I? fuck it. You get the idea.

because they never fucking work very well.

don't really use this thing, I'm usually just on aim or DA, but I PROMISE TO START FUCKING USING THIS THING....nnnnnnow. ok, here I go with the excitement, alright dorks, talk to me.